Wednesday, April 7, 2010

And so it begins…March 10th, 2010

I was driving home from work. I left early knowing I would get “The Call” around 5pm on Wed afternoon, but heading up RT 9, about 1 mile before my neighborhood, my cell phone rang. I looked down and knew it was the doctor calling about my results. I wanted to answer and say, can you please call my husband instead but I took a deep breath, said everything will be ok and said “hi, this is Rebecca”. Immediately I could tell from her voice that it wasn’t the best news, but still hopeful, I listened. “I’m sorry these are not the results we had hoped for.” My heart and head just stopped, my car went into auto drive. Tears began to roll down my face as the doctor explained - infiltrating ductal carcinoma. Carcinoma, cancer. Ductal, in my breast. Infiltrating? She explained, means invasive. I stopped listening as she explained more details, made it to my garage and closed my eyes and held my lower stomach. More words came, small tumor, surgeon, radiation, oncologist, treatment, chemo, act fast, and one more time, I’m sorry this was the result; we will do everything for you and your baby. You and you’re baby will be ok. My baby, holding my stomach more, after 4 long years of trying to conceive, I was finally pregnant with my first baby, 13 weeks and 2 days.
I hung up from the doctor and called Larry, please come home right now, it IS cancer, is all I remember saying. Soon he was home, holding me, saying things will be alright. I knew he would make me feel better. I went to my room and told Sarah, my sister and best friend. I tell her everything first. Good news or bad. Whenever we had bad news to share to our parents, we would share it to each other first, then, as in this case, Sarah would call my mom and dad and break the news, then after some time, to let my mom’s and my emotions to settle, I told them what I knew. I quickly emailed my best friends to share the results, I wasn’t ready to talk on the phone but telling them through emails and texts, somehow helped me grasp it, and know I am not alone.

That night I could not sleep. I read as many things as I could, about breast cancer, treatments, and pregnant with cancer. Pregnancy can alter things or at least limit other diagnostic testing, because you can’t have radiation, MRIs and mammograms were questionable.

No comments:

Post a Comment