Family trip to Dana Farber - results suck April 14, 2010

Since Larry is away... my loving family was there for me today, Sarah, Jesse, Mom and Dad, all packed into 1 small car together! Reminded me of Italy! Half way into the ride Jesse brings out his lunch box, napkin on his lap, enjoys a turkey sandwich and yogurt, and snacks were passed around for everyone! My family is great for some fun laughs in tough times!! First we met the nurse for an hour and then the oncologist for another 40 mins of questions. So yes, the margins were not clean, cancer cells spread out like fingers on some sides and the size measured once removed was 2.2 cm. 9 out of 10 lymph nodes had tumor in it as well. So where does that leave me for options? Well not many. I can have a mastectomy now, within next 2 weeks, then chemo, then deliver baby at about 36-38 weeks, then round 2 of chemo and radiation. Or I can have chemo within 2 weeks, deliver at 32-34 weeks, and then immediately have mastectomy, round 2 chemo and radiation. Either way, I have to have it all done, but also my baby will still be ok.

early morning wake up call 1 hour ago

fyi - i just got this news..  tears still rolling down my face so i apologize for the mistakes..  usually i proof read or at least spell check.
at 7:30 am i got a call, i was thinking it was larry but no it was my surgeon.   calling to tell me about the results - not sure why they didnt wait until i was at the doctors today at 1 but anyways.   more bad news.  they didnt get clear margins..  cancer cells were trailing off on some sides so it is still in my breast tissue.  and yes it is in my lymph nodes.    i really dont know much more..   i dont understand why they tell you the bad stuff, make your mind go crazy for 4 hours,  then tell you the options.    hopefully there are options.

Results Day!!! April 14th, 2010

I slept pretty good considering Larry is away for work and today is a big day.   Today I am going to Dana Farber with Sarah and my Mom to find out the results of the surgery.  Praying for clear margins and no cancer in the lymph nodes!!!!   I should also learn all about my chemo treatments.    And then either have lunch or ice cream!
Check back later tonight for results! xoxo

Surgery and The Days After... April 8th - April 11th, 2010

The surgery went well, very long day, but in the end it went well. We got there around 11am, and I had the radioisotopes injected into me. Waited around and then went to pre-op where I had a bunch of nurses come talk to me, an IV hooked up, which was great since I was so dehydrated from the no food/liquid after midnight rule and heard the babies heart beat. Beating strong. Then around 2 pm I was wheeled into the operating room. Lying on the table, under the big lights, as all the masked doctors and machines beeping surround me, I had my breakdown. I was so good up until then! I wasn’t scared for me, just for the baby. So I cried for a little as all the nurses came over to hold me and reassure me everything would be ok. Took a few deep breaths into the mask and out I was, and baby too, under anesthesia. Bye bye lump! About 2 hours later I woke up barely, but wasn’t ready to see Larry, sorry babe. Soon I heard the doctor say the procedure went well, the tumor was small, about pea size, they removed it and a good amount around it. They also removed 3 lymph nodes, each about the size of a peanut! Soon after the nurse came in and I heard the babies heart beat again!! Strong again! Stronger than mine! I was so relieved. I saw Larry for a little, we exchanged notes and then I felt sick so he left. And I slept for 2 more hours! Again, sorry Larry! I think we are now even for time spent in a waiting room for spouse!

A New Team, A New Perspective Flashback to March 17th, 2010

We took the doctor’s opinion and got a second opinion and went to Dana Farber. Dana Farber is overwhelming in itself. Unlike the first hospital, this place was crowded with cancer patients, all ages, colors, and stages. Each floor had it’s own cancer specialty, but everywhere you looked you knew you were looking at a cancer patient or supporter. This waiting room had a much younger crowd mixed in with the “older” women. Many in wigs and scarves, even some men too.

So we waited our turn and met the surgeon, Dr. Gadd, who explained how her surgery would be very safe of the baby, and the scaring would be minimal since she liked to make the incision around the areola. The surgery will be to remove the small lump and a margin of tissue around the lump. They will check the margins and hope for “clear margins” meaning cancer wasn’t spreading out more in one or two directions and they “got it all”. They would also remove a couple of lymph nodes from my arm pit to test if the cancer cells have traveled into the lymphatic system. Both these will help with the “staging” of my breast cancer. Again, this surgery, even though I will be under anesthesia and receive radioisotopes, will be safe for the baby.

After a quick walk during lunch we met with Dr. Partridge, the medical oncologist who specializes in patients under 42 years old. Even though she was relatively young for a doctor, in her 11 years experience she had seen more the 400 women who were pregnant while battling breast cancer. 400 women in 11years, pregnant with breast cancer in the New England area alone, I guess I am not that unique! She knows what she is doing and that is reassuring. And all I needed to know to make my decision to go with her and the rest of the Dana Farber team.

The good the bad and the ugly.. Today! April 8th, 2010

Ok I know I have skipped a few post, but since I made my blog public and have followers now, here is a quick update of where I am today. I am now being treated at Dana Farber. I have a surgeon, oncologist and high risk ob/gyn on my team.
The good: I am pregnant! And I am keeping my baby!
The bad: I have breast cancer. Her 2+ and I am having my lumpectomy today with sentinel node biopsy.
The ugly: Well the surgery of course, after applying some nipple numbing cream and taking a sedative, my breast will be cut open and the tumor removed. Both I and my baby will be under sedation during the surgery but once I wake up, so will the baby, and I will hear the heart beat today to reassure me everything has gone well.  
xoxo

Slow down, and breathe… March 15th, 2010

As Larry and I were driving to yet another day at the doctors we questioned if moving so fast to have surgery was the right decision. It had only been 5 days. We didn’t even have a second opinion. But when you hear “Cancer” you think death, act fast and get it out of your body! We met with the medical oncologist, the chemo specialist. After another full 2 hours of cancer explanations she gave me the best advice and news of the week. Hold off on the surgery; give yourself some time to breathe. One week or two will not change anything. Ahhhh. Her news, she didn’t see why we had to decide about radiation or pregnancy and mastectomy. Chemo would happen before any of this. And maybe neither choice will be needed. There is no increase in your survival if you terminate your pregnancy. Go get a second opinion. So we did. And a better outlook was given.

My boob OR My baby??? March 12th, 2010

Friday… 3 doctors in one day. My second roller coaster ride is on its way. I learned more about cancer in 2 hours then I ever wanted to know, and then again with doctor #3 for 2 more hours, meeting with both the surgeon and the radiation oncologist. They wanted me on a fast track… surgery in 4 days and treatment soon after. Being pregnant I couldn’t have an MRI, and at that time, there wasn’t a safe way they could determine if it had spread past that lump. The doctors said so much, but all I remember that day was the outcome and my choice, I was pregnant, I have cancer, like this, I couldn’t have radiation. So if I wanted the best survival rate, I would have to choose 1 of two options: Keep my pregnancy but have a mastectomy. Or terminate my pregnancy, not need a mastectomy, and could then have radiation. In a couple weeks I needed to decide, do I want my boob or my baby??? Who makes a decision like this so quickly?? Larry and I are engineers, everyone knows we don’t make quick decisions. We gather all the facts, think about all options and outcomes, wait and think again, and then when ready, we make a decision.