Family trip to Dana Farber - results suck April 14, 2010

Since Larry is away... my loving family was there for me today, Sarah, Jesse, Mom and Dad, all packed into 1 small car together! Reminded me of Italy! Half way into the ride Jesse brings out his lunch box, napkin on his lap, enjoys a turkey sandwich and yogurt, and snacks were passed around for everyone! My family is great for some fun laughs in tough times!! First we met the nurse for an hour and then the oncologist for another 40 mins of questions. So yes, the margins were not clean, cancer cells spread out like fingers on some sides and the size measured once removed was 2.2 cm. 9 out of 10 lymph nodes had tumor in it as well. So where does that leave me for options? Well not many. I can have a mastectomy now, within next 2 weeks, then chemo, then deliver baby at about 36-38 weeks, then round 2 of chemo and radiation. Or I can have chemo within 2 weeks, deliver at 32-34 weeks, and then immediately have mastectomy, round 2 chemo and radiation. Either way, I have to have it all done, but also my baby will still be ok.

early morning wake up call 1 hour ago

fyi - i just got this news..  tears still rolling down my face so i apologize for the mistakes..  usually i proof read or at least spell check.
at 7:30 am i got a call, i was thinking it was larry but no it was my surgeon.   calling to tell me about the results - not sure why they didnt wait until i was at the doctors today at 1 but anyways.   more bad news.  they didnt get clear margins..  cancer cells were trailing off on some sides so it is still in my breast tissue.  and yes it is in my lymph nodes.    i really dont know much more..   i dont understand why they tell you the bad stuff, make your mind go crazy for 4 hours,  then tell you the options.    hopefully there are options.

Results Day!!! April 14th, 2010

I slept pretty good considering Larry is away for work and today is a big day.   Today I am going to Dana Farber with Sarah and my Mom to find out the results of the surgery.  Praying for clear margins and no cancer in the lymph nodes!!!!   I should also learn all about my chemo treatments.    And then either have lunch or ice cream!
Check back later tonight for results! xoxo

Surgery and The Days After... April 8th - April 11th, 2010

The surgery went well, very long day, but in the end it went well. We got there around 11am, and I had the radioisotopes injected into me. Waited around and then went to pre-op where I had a bunch of nurses come talk to me, an IV hooked up, which was great since I was so dehydrated from the no food/liquid after midnight rule and heard the babies heart beat. Beating strong. Then around 2 pm I was wheeled into the operating room. Lying on the table, under the big lights, as all the masked doctors and machines beeping surround me, I had my breakdown. I was so good up until then! I wasn’t scared for me, just for the baby. So I cried for a little as all the nurses came over to hold me and reassure me everything would be ok. Took a few deep breaths into the mask and out I was, and baby too, under anesthesia. Bye bye lump! About 2 hours later I woke up barely, but wasn’t ready to see Larry, sorry babe. Soon I heard the doctor say the procedure went well, the tumor was small, about pea size, they removed it and a good amount around it. They also removed 3 lymph nodes, each about the size of a peanut! Soon after the nurse came in and I heard the babies heart beat again!! Strong again! Stronger than mine! I was so relieved. I saw Larry for a little, we exchanged notes and then I felt sick so he left. And I slept for 2 more hours! Again, sorry Larry! I think we are now even for time spent in a waiting room for spouse!