Still confused, boob or no boob. April 22, 2010

The more you know, the more confused you get.   Ignorance is bliss right?  Oh well, i would rather know everything.   I met with both a plastic surgeon and the breast surgeon.  Another sleepless night.  The plastic surgeon was helpful, made me understand what i can and will not be able to have done in the future.  Pictures actually looked better then i thought.  More on the choices another day, since i wont be having that done anytime soon.

My confusion is, once i told the breast surgeon i was scared and not ready to lose my breast she suggested we just do another lumpectomy, re-excision, and scoop out more tissue and hope for clear margins this time.  Also do more lymph nodes.   If i have clear margins i may not ever need a mastectomy.  Just chemo and radiation.  If i dont get clear margins again, i would have the mastectomy after i give birth with possible reconstruction then.  And in the meantime still do the chemo. Or i can go with the current plan to just have the mastectomy now and lose the boob tomorrow.  I just need to talk to my oncologist and determine if the re-excision is a safe and realistic approach given both the size of my breast and the pathology of the cancer.  
So today i wait and think, and think and wait,  and decide by later tonight what i should do.  I wish i could just sit with all the doctors all at once and have a group decision on what is going on and what is the best solution for everyone then doing all this back and forth.  

On a good note, yesterday Larry and I checked out some more wigs, real hair ones, and i really liked them. And then enjoyed a walk around Newbury street, lunch at Stephanie's, then walked through Boston Garden/Common and where the flowers are in bloom and soo pretty!  Now off to work to relax! hahaha